Seriously – what is up with our generation and cheating? Or is it just me noticing it more and more these days? This topic has been getting at me so often these past weeks it scares me. So I thought why not discuss and ask for your opinions. Where does it start? What do you do when you’re being cheated on? Why does one even cheat?
First things first: I want to share a somewhat, to me, shocking story about what a guy has shared with me a while ago. I will not be calling out names here – no worries. So this young man is married, has a child, is pretty intelligent and not so bad looking. I met him a couple of years ago at an event and always got along with him amazingly. Still do. Still really like him – but it just puts certain thoughts in a different perspective. Without going into any details, he made it pretty clear that him and his wife are in an “open relationship”. Now here it starts for me already: how can you be living with your significant other, have a family together, and be in an open relationship and “not care” if one of you swings around? I still wonder whether that was just a catchy phrase, a straight out lie in my face or whether the woman actually has no idea. Repeating myself, I am still cool with the guy – but damn that is just so unsexy to me I can’t even.
Now where does cheating even begin? I’ve had endless conversations with my girlfriends and some guys about this. You know the typical situation when a guy and girl are getting to know each other, it gets pretty serious (meaning really seeing each other regularly and both giving the feeling that there is something serious in the making), and then out of nowhere my girlfriend tells me she heard from someone in the circle that this guy has been making out with some other chick on a night out. Do you consider that cheating? I’ve heard rather often that it puts you in basically pretty shit situation because obviously you’re not official yet and so you can’t really say anything to him or officially be mad at him. My opinion? Bullshit. If a guy decides to date me, get to know me, start “seeing me” (name it whatever you want) – even in that phase I would consider making-out with someone cheating on me already. It’s simple. You cheat, I leave.
What would I do? If I hear about it, I will ask you. Communication is key – in every relationship there is. Now, if you feel that he has cheated and you don’t ask him, then don’t complain about your trust issues. The only one that is really not doing anything against it and allowing it, is you. You need to set the boundaries just like guys set their boundaries. If you allow it and let it go through, be sure it was not the last time. Now, if you decide that this is okay for you – cool. Be you. Do you. Just don’t complain afterwards if it isn’t working the way you had wished for initially. Same thing goes for you if you are cheating. Man up. Woman, grow up. You need to communicate that you have an issue with the current situation or that you are just not looking for a relationship (or that the relationship just isn’t working anymore). It just isn’t fair and you surely would not want to be in the same shoe. If you decide to cheat, I truthfully believe you are not looking for, or ready for, a serious relationship. At least be honest with your partner – it’s the least you can do.
Then I wonder why people even start to cheat? This is another debatable topic. Some say they can’t do anything against it. It’s a drive. An animalistic drive. Other’s think it’s an age thing. My opinion? Again: bullshit. I honestly believe that one is just not mature, not ready for commitment. But why then even get into one? Is it the Sunday-Blues? The typical “oh I was busy the whole week, partying up on Friday and Saturday and then Sunday I felt lonely so I called up that chick and asked her on a date”? I remember Lauryn and Michael (from theskinnyconfidential.com) talking about it on one of their podcasts last year and giving exactly this example (though I can’t remember the exact wording) and them likewise arguing that this is total BS. Like Lauryn said, and I swear ever since I fully agree, never ever say yes to a guy asking you out on a Sunday if he hasn’t been speaking to you in a while before (and definitely not if it’s your ex!).
Now, what are your thoughts on this? I’d be interested so just leave me a comment down below on this post, comment on one my last photo on Instagram (laurananette) or even snapchat (laura.nanette) me directly. Would LOVE to hear your voice and even share opinions in a potential follow-up post if wished for. xo